Sara Bareilles is being her usual genius self once again and came up with this very brilliant song off Waitress the production and I am moved.

It's like my life is being translated into a song at some point. It has reminded me of the many rejections that I had in my life that it seemed like a normal life routine (being rejected). It 's like I lost my optimistic self and embraced my failures deeply. Or maybe I am having this typical "good girl problem": that the real me has been hiding in the strong persona that I am allowing the people around me to see all along. It reminded me of the feeling of missing someone so much that it became a constant feeling and felt like as normal as breathing. It has reminded me of my many flaws that I almost gave up on working on improving for the better. Moreover, doubting about the "strong faith" that I apparently possess that everyone around me has been mentioning for forever.

At the same time it has opened my eyes for more truths and realisations.

This girl is more than all those negative thoughts and that there will always a chance to improve for the better. This girl is loved and hugely appreciated and that she am so blessed beyond belief that everything is already handed out to her if she would just look further around her. Her faith is stronger than ever and she should just only focus on Him and Him alone and that it is going to be enough, embracing the happiness that she has been depriving myself of and all the other great things in life just because she has been scarred and scared. And that it is never wrong to feel bad at all, just as long as she would not stop to seek to get that girl back to be able to radiate it to the world no matter what it will entail.

Everything is the same and yet different. New beginnings are looming..... the passion inside is burning. It is never going to be easy but the future is just as exciting and to be honest this girl could hardly wait for the life the world is to offer. This girl is more equipped than she ever was in her life.

***

It's not simple to say,

Most days I don't recognize me.

These shoes and this apron,

This place and it's patrons

Have taken more than I gave them.

It's not easy to know

I'm not anything that I used to be.

Although it's true,

I was never attention sweet center

I still remember that girl.

She's imperfect but she tries

She is good but she lies.

She is hard on herself.

She is broken but won't ask for help.

She is messy but she's kind.

She is lonely most of the time.

She is all of this mixed up

And baked in a beautiful pie.

She is gone but she used to be mine.

And it's not what I asked for.

Sometimes life just slips in through back door

Carves out the person

And makes you believe it's so true.

And now I've got you.

And you're not what I asked for.

If I'm honest I know I would give it all back

For a chance to start over

And rewrite an ending or two

For the girl that I knew.

Who be reckless just enough

Who get hurt but

Who learns how to toughen up when she's bruised

And gets used by a man who can't love

And then she'll get stuck and be scared

Of the life that's inside her

Growing stronger each day

'Til it finally reminds her

To fight just a little

To bring back the fire in her eyes

That's been gone but it used to be mine.

Used to be mine

She is messy but she's kind

She is lonely most of time

She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie

She is gone but she used to be mine.

****

Intro

Hmmm sounded a bit like WDBHG I felt like  singing "Counted all my mistakes..."

(Niall)

Down to Earth

Okay, they are back to the Earth from outerspace. DMD video, yeah? And YAY it's Niall on the first verse!!

Keep 'em falling when I know it hurts

Faster than a million miles an hour

Trying to catch my breath some way somehow

Down to Earth

It's like I'm frozen but the world still turns

Okay, Zayn

Stuck in motion and the wheels keep spinning round

Moving in reverse with no way out

Again, Zayn. In reverse, meaning it felt like going back to the beginning as that's what it may have felt when he left?

And YAY for more Niall's!!!

(Liam)

And now I'm

One step closer to being

Two steps farther from you

Okay this hurt. Ziam feels. They are trying to move forward

When everybody wants you

Everybody wants you

Felt like calling out, nobody wants you to leave, Zayn you see?

*

(Harry)

How many nights does it take to count the stars?

That's the time it would take to fix my heart 

Cheesy lines. But it worked ha

Oh baby, I was there for you

You have their full support, love

All I ever wanted was the truth

Apparently he wanted to pursue something that feels real to him. Can never fully blame him, really

Yeah, yeah

Oops, reminded me of More Than This. Anyone?

How many nights have you wished someone would stay?

Still not over it, yeah? Never getting over it, honestly 

Lied awake only hoping they're okay?

No communications then huh

I've never counted all of mine

If I tried I know it would feel like infinity

Oh.

(All)

Infinity

Infinity

Yeah

Infinity

Catchy.

(Liam)

Eyes can't shine

Ziam. :( but for some reasons it remind me of Harry, when he's not smiling, or smiling but doesn't even reach his eyes. Something's really wrong

Unless there's something burning bright behind

There goes the reason to move forward. The fans

Since you went away there's nothing left in mine

Again, Ziam :(

I feel myself running out of time

The pressure and desperation to come up with something huge. The rush to give something back to those people who has never left their side. I don't know if it's a good thing or bad thing

(Louis)

And now I'm

One step closer to being

Two steps farther from you

ZOUIS :( with flashback: "I was shouting Zayn, Zayn but he never come"

When everybody wants you

Everybody wants you

Took him 5 months to "recover" aka 1/4

(Harry)

How many nights does it take to count the stars?

That's the time it would take to fix my heart 

Oh baby, I was there for you

All I ever wanted was the truth

Yeah, yeah

How many nights have you wished someone would stay?

Lied awake only hoping they're okay?

I've never counted all of mine

If I tried I know it would feel like infinity

(All)

Infinity

Infinity

Yeah

Infinity

Whew. So there.

Maybe it's just me being a Zayn AF even from the start that somewhere in the back of my mind, I could still hear Zayn like he has never left. That even after everything that has happened, there still is a Zayn part that would fit in this song somewhere. Maybe a missing bridge part or a highlight solo? We will never know. But that's not to say the song is not good without him because it is fine as it is and even better, to me, than Drag Me Down. Also, because Niall slayed his verses and I am so happy. At the same time it felt like going back to the olden days of minimal Louis verses, but then I think his verse is just fitting so yeah, who knows, there will be like a No Control in the new album where he gets to sing more. We just have to wait.

If I am the one to decide, I would have named this album a self-titled album "One Direction" as it would have made more sense, like a rebirth (technically) / rebranding from five lads to now officially four just like what Paramore did when the Farro brothers left the band back in 2010/2011. To be honest I cannot help but compare their situation to Paramore's back then. Paramore were a four (sometimes five)-piece band and at some point it felt like the end when two of the founding members have left. (Which coincidentally, Josh Farro was not able to go to their Manila show that year due to his wedding preps. Why am I feeling like, hello Zayn? Manila leg? Ring a bell?) But they came back real big as a three-piece: soldout shows here and there, bigger record sales and recently, they even bagged a Grammy nod. Their music sounded differently (Hayley-centric to me and there were like only 3 or 4 songs from the deluxe edition that sounded so close to their previous records) from the previous record but that's quite expected, to be honest. Should the Farro brothers have stayed I think music is ever evolving and any band or artist would have to try new musical techniques and stuff, anyway. The only difference is that, Paramore never announced a hiatus (if I remembered it correctly) and they took some good two years to release the epic Paramore self-titled album, that is (when 1D is releasing them barely a year from the previous one, as usual and a few months post-Zayn).

Going back, Made In The A.M, really? Somebody joked Made In The "After Malik" and it kind of made sense. Ha. Or maybe they literally have recorded most if not all of the songs in the morning then there's that. 

No matter, Infinity is a nice song and if the new songs from the album will all have this kind of vibe then I do believe they are on the right track.

And it will be a feast in all of our senses, at least until they decided to regroup after the "break".

I just wish there would be a better promotion for the album this time.

Support, carrots, support! You may check the links below.

Made In The A.M Pre-Order Links:

Itunes: http:///smarturl.it/1DmitamDXiT

Google Play: http://smarturl.it/1DmitamGP

Stream Link:

Spotify: http://t.co/18nDqWCiGl

Landline by Rainbow Rowell started slow but I was surprised as it progressed towards the end that I actually like it, loads better than the previous one (Fangirl), I have to say. 

I could not care less if there are so many questions left unanswered, or if there are plotholes from the guy's past love. 

Maybe because I am a sucker for happy endings. Maybe I really am a firm believer of love and that all things are going to work out well where there is love. I really  enjoyed reading this one.

I have not made it past the first few pages that some might argue that it is too early to come up with such judgment. But as far as the excerpts and reviews from all over the place that I have read, there are far better sexually-driven written books than this series that one may check, making this a complete waste of time. Harsh words as these may seem, but yes.

With all due respect, though, to fans, but maybe this series just is not my cup of tea. I still think it is far overrated and is getting the hype (sorry to say) that other books deserved more.

She writes so light that you could basically finish reading a novel in one sitting. Her characters are so real and interconnected that you could relate to them at some point.