Hopeful Romantic.
I am turning twenty-six in a couple of days plus the fact that it's the Holy Week break today and everything is just solemn, it's making me reflect on certain aspects in my life. One of which is, I realised how much of a hopeless romantic I am, waiting/praying for the one.
"The true hopeless romantic would always rather give than receive. Because they know then and only then, will there be true love." or just how Urban Dictionary has defined it.
And then there's this random conversation with friends days ago that has made me think about the what if's.
What if I am as adventurous in the love department as I am with experiencing life?
What if I am not scared to be let down and hurt?
What if I let myself be more vulnerable so more people can get to see the other side of "strong" (aka all of me)?
In came the doubts.
But.
Can they handle the darkness looming beneath the kaleidoscopic skies?
Will it be really worth the try?
Do I really need people to validate my choices and most of all, happiness?
Is it still practical to seek/wait for love these days?
Sooner than we may think, the days when we can use the "I'm too young to be in a relationship" will be gone. That weird feeling seems to creep in: like giving in to the pressure of seeing most of our friends settling down and/or them being in a happy relationship though we all know how one-sided the social media personas can be. At the same time, we have that fear of settling for less than what we deserve.
Maybe you need to get hurt first so you'll get to find that one person whom you're waiting/praying for, my friends would say. They say it as though there is already this someone, but in reality, there is no one (yet). As inevitable as getting hurt, it may not even possible to get hurt as there is really no one (yet). They feel like I am close to meeting my man when I don't even get to hang with a lot people, especially boys. It's cool, all things considered. Like they are already seeing me as someone who is matured enough (I'd like to think I am) and is actually non-platonically involved with a certain someone and it's not just because of our age. Though I don't really know if I am ready myself but we'll know when it comes.
If it's not happening now it doesn't mean that it will not happen at all. We can be impatient but as one would always say, we need to learn to trust God and His timeframe for everything, not only in our relationships but in life as a whole.
There are days when we crave to be loved and that's alright. There are times when we don't and there is also nothing wrong with that. We hope for things to be reciprocated. We wanted our definite match. We cannot really tell when love is going to hit us for real but we still have that hope. God gave us so much love to give back and we should not let the pressures of the world define our life, choices and relationships.
Improve ourselves, enjoy life as much as we can and give more. Love more without asking for anything in return. Let the words float in our minds like a mantra. And when we finally have it, it will all be worth it.
Maybe.
Hopefully.
Definitely.
x
