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To be honest, I am more excited for our high school reunion party than the actual V-day just because high school rocks. But here goes the mandatory (sort of.) V-Day post starting off with this Eat, Pray, Love quote also known as: a little reminder for le singles (like me). wink

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...”
~ Eat, Pray, Love

I guess that's pretty self-explanatory.

***

Love is the reason we are all alive now. His love, in particular, of which I believe is the greatest love of all. His love that is bountiful everyday, everywhere if we only know how and where to look for it. Not that we have to look for it, of course, but a matter of acknowledging it. This is one (if not the only one) of the reasons why I never felt lonely despite the fact that I have been single for all of my years of existence. I never felt alone because of that love.

Every Valentine's He's given me more than one person to make me feel loved. He gave me my friends, my family making that love multiplied bajillion times at large; Guy friends whom would show you simple acts of love from hugs to random holding of hands and gentleman acts that happen everyday; Friends of whom you could spend the day/night, eating somewhere, your "group date" of sorts; Family who loves you and cares for you to the greatest extent; Book boyfriends to keep your minds/heart busy with hahahaha. Isn't He like the sweetest... ever? And if the time comes that He's to give me that one person to share the rest of my life with (I know. Deep.), I just hope that we would be both in love with Him, that His love would bind us together and that, my friends, is happiness guaranteed.

And guess what? I am not in a hurry.

Happy Valentine's! Spread the love! X

After a failed attempt (that ended with a not-so-nice-but-memorable experience at the mall) and my constant bugging to my friend for us to watch it, finally I was able to see Les Miserables, Wednesday night and man, was it really good. We arrived 15 minutes late but just in time for the Fantine moments of which I must say was given enough justice by Anne Hathaway. I must admit I shed a tear or so with her rendition of I Dreamed A Dream. It was heartbreaking.

I knew some of the songs; I am aware that Les Miz is one of those profoundly celebrated musical all over the world, and that our very own Miss Lea Salonga has graced on it a couple of times but that's about it. Watching Les Miz to me is another case of I'm-not-an-avid-fan-but-I-am-aware-of-it kind of admiration. Neither I nor Jobie know how the story would go (which is probably a shame but nevermind) but we came to enjoy and we did. All in all, whether you've been a fan for years or just a forcefully persuaded company, the film is far from giving you disappointment. Hugh Jackman as Jean Valjean is a character to love. Not to mention he's the only good-looking (in my eyes. And Jobie's haha) man in there. (Sorry, not sorry)

The one thing that's got me hooked into it (that has made me decide to even blog about it) is Eponine. A scene-stealing performance, in my honest opinion, and I like it. On My Own is a well-known song but I swear I have never really appreciated fully how deeply touching that song was until that rain scene with Samantha Barks. As for Eponine's contribution with the story itself, I cannot help but be sad for her situation and I felt bad about her death that I thought she deserved someone better than Marius who's obviously in love with someone else. Unfair (haha). But at least she gets to tell him about her feelings and helped him in the best way that she can even though it cost her her dear life.

A friend gave me a copy of the movie and I saw it for the second time yesterday plus the scenes that I missed at the theatre.

Oh the joy of hearing the people sing... All the feels.. The tears.. Haunting...

***

And now I'm all alone again nowhere to turn, no one to go to

without a home without a friend without a face to say hello to

And now the night is near

Now I can make believe he's here

Sometimes I walk alone at night

When everybody else is sleeping

I think of him and then I'm happy

With the company I'm keeping

The city goes to bed

And I can live inside my head

On my own

Pretending he's beside me

All alone

I walk with him till morning

Without him

I feel his arms around me

And when I lose my way I close my eyes

And he has found me

In the rain the pavement shines like silver

All the lights are misty in the river

In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight

And all I see is him and me forever and forever

And I know it's only in my mind

That I'm talking to myself and not to him

And although I know that he is blind

Still I say, there's a way for us

I love him

But when the night is over

He is gone

The river's just a river

Without him

The world around me changes

The trees are bare and everywhere

The streets are full of strangers

I love him

But every day I'm learning

All my life

I've only been pretending

Without me

His world would go on turning

A world that's full of happiness

That I have never known

I love him

I love him

But only on my own.

Things happen for a reason. You may not know what it is at a certain moment but there is, at least, one that is yet to be discovered. Some, you'd realise as it occurs; others, afterwards. This maybe a little cliche-ish for an intro but I hope you find your reasons as you read on.

A. Jobie and I wanted to see Les Miserables so we decided to meet after our working hours, that's Saturday afternoon. She came in quite late which I don't really mind because as usual I was enjoying browsing books at the bookstore and enjoyed it pretty much that when she came we lost track of the time it was already 6:30 and we weren't aware that Les Mis was on, 6:20. The next was scheduled 9pm and we both couldn't afford to wait on it so basically we decided to just eat because 1) we're hungry 2) we have thought of going to Shang instead but the LFS (last full show) would start around 9pm as well it seemed to be a not-so-good plan 3) we really are hungry.

B. McDonald’s was the first choice (so we can use her discount coupon hahaha) but KFC was the closest so we ended up eating in there.

C. I don't usually use one but as a part of our lez-try-something-new-everyday self-improvement thing, we bought planners.

D. I'm looking for a jar for my 2013 happiness project.

The usual. We were having chitchats about our week, work, life and stuff, even checking dates on our mataray na Papemelroti planner (move over, Starbucks planner. Ours is radder, siriusly haha) for possible out-of-town trips in Ilocos (dang common. Our CE little brothers and sisters were here a few weeks ago, apparently), Marinduque (I prefer this), Bora (not really looking forward to this, but if it'd push through, I'd gladly come) when..... it happened.

People running outside the diner, inside the mall.

Staff haphazardly trying to close the entrance’s steel doors.

I HAVE NO IDEA OF WHAT'S GOING ON.

All I know is that there's some commotion outside and we need to hide ourselves for a possible I don't really know. Ninja me crept into the utility room, see, we were the fastest to hide. Staff's said there was a shootout and that's all we know. Some said there were gunshots though I didn't really hear. Jobie and I are trying to keep it cool and relaxed, joking here and there though of course, it's pretty hard. Some kids panicked, even cried. Almost everyone's clinging to their handphones as they communicated with their loved ones. I didn't message any of my family members (not after we got out, I texted my sister) because I don't want them to worry much about me.

After some 15 to 20 minutes we were allowed to go (though I have learned afterwards from the news that the lockdown stretched to almost an hour). And quickly we exited the mall. I am not proud of how I handled the situation because I almost freaked out, even thought of exiting on the first exit that we'd see (the mall parking) but that seemed to be not a very good idea (parking's too open and we don't know what'd be in there. Walker alert, kind of lol) We risked walking on the mall grounds despite the panic.

"Dali, picture-an kita. Kunwari natatakot ka."

"Pwede tayong magtago dito kaso basurahan 'to. Ready ka na bang magdive?"

"Wala ng Walkers. Pwede na daw tayong lumabas."

On a possible entrance of the robbers in KFC..

"Bakit sila papasok dito? Dun nalang sila.. Dun sa pangmayayaman!"

"E kasi nga dito daw yung bukas kaya dito sila papasok" (the steel door's lock happened to be broken, unfortunately, which causes more panic.)

I must admit I reacted pretty badly that time. And that's mainly because of the idea that earlier that night we were talking about our future plans, then all hell breaks loose now we don't even know if we'll get to live the next day. Exagge thinking, maybe but things could happen and there is no way we could predict of what really lies ahead. Prayers are my only guard that time. I put my trust into Him and that's what's kept my composure, if I even have some left.

And thank the Lord we got home safe.

Then I told my sister and some friends about the experience.

The sister and I even watched Pitch Perfect that night together. God is way too good.

Reasons

a. Because we weren't able to see Les Mis, we didn't get stuck in the mall for long. That would have been freakier, not knowing what's outside. Or people inside would panic and all head to the fire exit. That's more risky.

b. If you've been to Megamall a couple of times you'd know that McDonalds’ area is pretty open. Not much space to hide yourself. KFC though is located far from the mall's exit because it is somewhere in the middle. But other than that, it felt safe at the back of the room.

c. So that is why we bought planners, with the first entry: "Trapped inside a diner because of a shootout" hahahaha the heck.

d. Jar forgotten. But at least the incident happened while we're eating. If we happen to be wandering around the department store.... Ugh. I don't even want to think about it anymore.

What has happened is one for the pages of our life book now.

A realisation: We get to experience life at its extremes, be it on the good or bad, and to still be alive and to be able to move forward is something to be grateful of.

Camwhoring as it happens.

Smelly utility room. The proposed hideout.

"Dali, picture-an kita. Kunwari natatakot ka."

Walker alert.

Ze planner.

Note: Title’s from a Kris Allen song called Turn The Pages. I don’t know, it just suits my feelings at the moment.

“This wasn't meant for you
You know it's never too late
Tomorrow still will come
And this will be yesterday
But right now you're caught in it
A moment of regret
Erase it from your mind

'Cause everything is temporary
Every line of every story
Let me be the hero in the one that never ends
'Cause it ain't over till it's over
Wish that I could hold you closer
And we could turn the pages...”

I can't exactly say that I am digging their new record for I still feel woeful with the Farro brothers leaving and I am missing their old sound. But like a brave kid, one has to move on. And hey, a new record's a new record. I am just so glad they manage (or at least on their way) for a comeback.

PS: Might see them play fugging live next month! I just hope we won't run out of tickets once Ate Chemerf and I decided to get one. Ciao.

Being the facts person that I am, it amazes me to discover connections on the things that I am getting so fond of. It makes me grow fonder of them if that is even possible.

So recently I have posted about this series called Thoughtless as written by S.C. Stephens and how out of nowhere, despite the adult theme, writing style and other factors, I became a fan of her work.

I'd like to believe it is more of this wicked idea of picturing how band dudes make their relationships work, the ups and downs side of touring and the perks (curses to some) and how they deal with it that's got me into it. I, for one, adore a lot of bands and it is just so nice to actually picture them behind the scenes, when they were just starting with their career and wonder if they went through the same thing.

I got my PDF copy of this book (two books, actually) from a friend circa the Overexposed World Tour and that was the time that I was practically listening to every Maroon 5 and The Cab songs everyday (because I want to relive the moment of seeing these two bands in their awesomeness onstage). Probably the best that I have been in the not-so-many concerts that I have attended. I've been listening then, mostly to The Cab since they are new to me and to be honest I didn't know them prior to the announcement that they are going to be the front act for Maroon 5; which really gotten me into the story even more because of their songs that I could totally relate to the love story of the main man ~~my fictional boyfriend~~, Kellan Kyle and the lead girl Keira Allen. The love, betrayal, deceit and intimacy (uhm. Okay, sex); and the music. (There. Just a few spoilers in general terms, just in case you haven't read the books yet.)

Vegas Skies reminded me so much of Kellan and Keira.

Having said that, I immediately had this idea of sending a message to the author to share my sentiments relating to the story and the song. Thanks to the internet I get to learn about the author's email address (thru Goodreads) and I mustered up the courage to message her. And much to my delight, after 10 days, she did send me a reply.

I cannot get over the fact that she freaking loves The Cab!! I found out too that she was an Every Avenue fan and that they were one of her inspirations on how she's come up with the story. Only Place I Call Home is perfect for this too, if I must add. Also, Endlessly was included in her Reckless playlist (also known as the songs that she was listening to while writing the third book).

The third book for this series is to be out on March 5th and she did this like-fest thing on Facebook in which she's to release the first chapter of book 3 (Reckless) if her page would reach 20,000 likes and she did! I was so surprised to see the title of the said chapter. It was called...

Read that right, have I not? Temporary Bliss. Temporary flipping Bliss.

And a hot, intense chapter, that was.

So much for finding connections. I could really have been a Buddhist in my past life because of patronizing these interconnected stuff.

But excuse me for now as my fangirl heart swells with pure Soldier delight.

Time is but a happy friend as nostalgia kicked in when Jen told me about F4 gracing this year's Chinese New Year wherein they will be singing Meteor Rain on an event in China(?). Looking back, I don't know anyone who didn't get hooked with Meteor Garden then, and mind you if you do not know San Chai, Dao Ming Si, Hua Zi Lei, Xi Men and Mei Zuo, you probably lived under a rock. I still even have this CD that my good friend Joseph has lend me then, and I doubt I'd ever get to give it back. Not that he would really mind, I know he'd be glad to at least make his friend happy, right? Right?

We, Jen, Reg, Joe and Lhen, ended up tweeting and reminiscing our high school lives, love lives, puppy loves, how relationships ended, how we've all moved on from that era; how high school still is the best among our academic existence. And we all agreed.

It may be sad that some of us, high school buddies, only get to see each other on wakes/funeral and some short encounters on PUVs but I am so positive that we would still find time to meet on a happier circumstance. Who knows, 2013 might be that year.

And Ken!! Ah right, he was my favourite F4 guy because he seemed like a gentleman and he can play the guitar (that's a major plus man points, for me. Ha.) It was a curious thing that we get reminded of our Meteor Garden addiction prior to Ken''s birthday. Jen tweeted me, "OH MY! Birthday ni Ken ngayon?" and I did check the date and it was January 15th and heck yes, it really was his birthday. Talk about, yet again, connections.

The F4 era:

Before the Koreans ruled primetime, Meteor Garden was the bomb. They have started it all. The madness, good and bad.
I was so delighted to own the same phone unit that Xi Men has back then, which is the good ol' smartphone of its old age, Nokia 3310.
My acetate/background? A Xi Men photo, of course.
We learned to sing in Chinese (Can't Lose You? Qing Fei De Yi? Yes?), and learned to read a few Mandarin characters.
We had group of friends as inspired by them. I had C4, short for Cute Girls 4, which is lame for a name but sounded cool back in high school, okay. haha GLJ2 (ring a bell?) but I swear the friendship that we had is real.
Magazines, stickers pads, stationary, memorabilia to name a few. To know every random detail about a cast, then, is a must.

Belated happy birthday to the awesome Ken Zhu! After all these years, lol, I cannot believe I still have that soft spot in my heart for you. Not that it's a bad thing, though. Perhaps we don't really get rid of our fangirl tendencies. Again, not that it should be bothersome to have the F tendency. We all have that, whether we are aware or not. As humans we have feelings and we appreciate good things and we have different means of blurting it out. Others go beyond normal and mine, I'd like to believe is in balance. Whew, so much for being on the front line of the defensive team, but that is the truth. We all mature, in time. ;-)

Admit it, you miss them as well. So here are some eye treats for you...

The past week is by far the most exhausting week for me and most of my friends, emotionally. It seemed like being bipolar is the new in. Unexpected demise here and there. But thinking about it, is there such a thing as expected demise when we cannot really tell exactly when death would strike? The only thing plausible thing is to may have guessed. But still, we can never really tell.

We are just on the second week of the month and I have already been into three different wakes; fathers of two of my good friends and a school mate - the latter left me still shocked because I (most of us, actually) did not even know that he was sick until last Sunday when my sister told me that this person's oxygen tank-dependent and that he's basically been giving his last will to every people that's visiting him. From the moment that I knew about his situation I kind of had this feeling that it could happen. I just did not expect it to be that soon. We can never be ready.

We visited him last night (came home to Bulacan for the night that I nearly died on my way - a train ride drains all the sheesh out of the body) and like any other deceased person that I know, he looked like just a sleeping child. It is more than just the wardrobe and the makeup but they really appear to be in peace. I have witnessed how my aunt's physical feature has deteriorated, how weak and jaded she's become since she got sick of the big C and when she passed away last year, it is just so astounding seeing her as if half-smiling to us in all her youthful beauty and I am not even exaggerating. She looked calm and peaceful, evidently happy to be home and I am not just referring to the physical home, but eternal home with our Father. Eternal freedom. Free from all the Earthly suffering, health struggle and judgmental people. To start anew. A fulfillment of a promise. A homecoming.

Coincidentally, I just got finished reading this John Green book called Looking for Alaska and it is just as heartbreaking as the series of events this week. Yes, it may not made me bawl like what The Fault in our Stars did but it has made me learn something; feel something. It made me ached with the idea of losing someone haphazardly and questioning of the what's, why now, how's. Of why we should let things be as it is; of halting to assume and to overthink; of being forgotten and forgiven as we die.

Alaska Young may not be an inspiring icon for she's flawed and made a lot of impulsive acts in her short-lived existence, but she is something. She's made a mark in her own little way.

The labyrinth thing is brilliant and I must commend John for being so nerdy (in a good way) and random and brilliant. The most rad thing about John is that in his every story, he shares a bit of his own self which for me, help makes the story seemed real; because parts of the characters have, in one way or another, really existed.

As a break from all the John Green novels feels (despite having started Will Grayson, Will Grayson yesterday) I am on to this aphorism book by Nassim Nicholas Taleb called The Bed of Procrustes and it is a breathe of fresh air. Insightful and interesting so far.

"Live your life to the fullest." "Life is short." I almost hear someone say whenever facing such death occurrences. Don't be afraid to seek your own happiness and live your life the way you only can. Travel and stay hungry and foolish with friends. I say read as much books as we can, whenever we can. What? Happiness is subjective, yes?

Today is January 10th and is curiously the Alaska Young Memorial Day in the States.

Double cool with knobs.

AN INTRO

Well, hello there, you lovely! Here's me being at my most random. If I am not dealing with structural designs and engineering/estimating stuff, I probably am just creepin' somewhere... spreading The Word in my own little ways and/or appreciating the little things (basically cats, music and books). Also, I write about them sometimes. If you aren't the reading type and you wish to talk longer or if you've got suggestions and such, chatty type can always reach me here. Otherwise, welcome to my online home!