New Beginnings
It started with a girl who labels people without her knowing the implications on the days to come.
Elementary days, you have met your "best friends" but you were such kids then and everything felt real simple. As real as the relationships have been, being best friends only meant playing together, sitting together, studying together. No more, no less. Zooming in to high school and college days where most relationships become real-lationship you have met a couple of new people. You even get involved with groups. From here on you realised you had the tendency to get inclined on certain people's attention and affection and unconsciously disregard people who offers the same (sometimes even better) affinity. You found it "normal" for people to have that sense of belonging, being in groups and you are happy. Who would not want that, right?
Until you have met this someone and thought, "She's it! She's the best friend I have been praying to have for years!" The fleeting happiness of getting to know somebody who makes you feel like it is okay to be single (for now) and be taken care of like you are the most precious thing in the world. The sheer joy of having someone you can talk about almost anything with after a long tiring day, of whom you can open up without them judging you, of whom will love you as a family member...who would never leave you until it's time to part for the heavens.
Little did you know of her personal issues, of the clouds forming to steal the bright days away. And there came the big storm.
You cling to it thinking that you cannot just give up the best. You stoop down real low and beg for the affinities to not go to an end. You hoped that she feels the same "grief" that you are experiencing. And you ended up feeling alone more than you have ever felt in your life.
You started questioning why God has let them come into your lives and then left you high and dry even when you already know the answer and that is to make you realise that you should not depend your happiness on people but you should focus on His love alone.
Those days were the hardest. You cry yourself at night thinking of what went wrong with all the relationships that you've had in your life. You even thought of revenge but you do not know how. Until He uses people to be of help. And the realisations came in.
Best friends are overrated (in the most not bitter way). Every labels that you've had meant nothing and you learned the value of commitment. It is always about the love that you give away that will always matter. Give and give without asking for anything back. Loving and showing your love is better than being just loved.
Looking back, you thought, God maybe already sending you signals and maybe you are the only one pushing it but you are blinded by the things you thought were the best you would ever have but you are so wrong.
From the simple selfish things then that you thought were normal given your adaptive nature to the big ones, (You are willing to go alone on dark alleys at night and she's never considered to ask you first knowing its dangerous nature/leaving you at the most emotional time of your life, board exam days, when you needed that love the most) part of you were thankful it finally came to an end.
But most of all, you were thankful for these are what has made you the strong person that you are now.
You do not regret anything for it is one for the books now and you are happy that you are both leading a happy life (no matter how little the involvement of each other in each now is) and it is all that you have been wishing for her to have.
You learned to guard your heart on future relationships. You were able to spend more time with people of whom you have unconsciously taken for granted when you were on the best friend cloud. Moreover, you never feel alone anymore because you are closer to The Best-est Friend from up above and that is all that you will ever need. You are happier than you have ever been without feeling all the guilt. You feel loved and blessed and you were able to appreciate more of your life, even the little-est of things. You learned to be more loyal and to speak of only the things that you mean, and not contradicting words and actions.
And you are more equipped now as you go through new beginnings.
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