Twenty-Five.

You would think that with better internet services and technically less stressful job than the previous ones I could actually update the blog more often, but it has been a busy couple of days, hence, the very late birthday post (I turned a quarter of a century last month! If my name isn't a dead giveaway of when my birthday is yet.)

Not that I am complaining, though. Every day spent miles away from home is a heck of an adventure and life just happened and you just, might as well, live it. We learn to prioritize and value our surroundings specifically the people around us more. We learn to keep personal things personal and we realise that we do not need anybody's validation in everything that we do. We are able to filter, not only our Facebook or Twitter feeds, but the people that we are allowing to take part in our lives. We learn to use the internet more cleverly and responsibly (or did we, really?). In a Wallflower's term, as we grow older, we tend to "participate" as we face day-to-day realities and therefore leaving us barely having time to lurk on our social media accounts.

However, these days my reality includes constantly checking the computer (or hand phone for that matter), hoping to catch someone back home (Philippines) online and maybe talk a bit. It may seem like something petty but after a long day, no matter how great it has been, it can also be quite taxing. You may not notice it and the change may not be drastic but the the idea of being far is emotionally exhausting. My little cousins are growing up before my eyes. Two of them even graduated these past few weeks and I missed it. I even missed my very own birthday party that they held back home. One particular moment is whenever I buy half a loaf of bread for myself and could not even consume it until its expiry date when a full loaf usually lasts half a day with all of my cousins at home. It's the simplest of things, I know. The longing continues but life still has to go on. I am the type to find joy in every little thing that I do, anyway.

As if running on auto-pilot (the good kind because I enjoy every bits of it), my day is also composed of tedious nine to ten hours spent in the office, a 20 to 30-minute dance (X Box), sometimes a quick run, binge watching of random Youtube videos and eating(!!!!). I still read books and write/draft random thoughts but most of the time I could not form the words as I would rather be spending time with people or sleeping. Those few days when I get to find the right drive (like today), I write for myself as it is a great way of release, as it usually is.

It is time to de-stress. To tidy up the already messy mind. To keep spreading positive vibes.

There are those days when you just cannot help but take a look back in your life and things will make you realise that life may be far from perfect but you had lived it to its fullest and that you are blessed beyond belief.

Today is one of those days.

At five, I was just that chubby, flawed girl who would use my wit so the older ones will not bully me in school (because I am fat. Still am haha but yeah). What I lack in looks, I made up in personality. What I cannot accomplish physically, I made up academically even when I am two years younger than my batch.

At 10, I lost a proper family as my parents decided to judicially separate. My young mind (though more matured for my age) could not understand it back then but I did not let it ruin me. I became stronger because of it. It also set things into perspective. I continued on and had my teenage (high school) life with flying colors.

At 15, I am off to the university, with high hopes of honing the potential that I believe I possess. I took up BS Civil Engineering because.... I don't know, I felt that it suited me at that time. Being the shy but overtly social butterfly that I am, college was a heck of a ride. I loved the course. I lived it (still living it). Looking back, I did not only learn the engineering concepts but learned that pride, honor and dignity is more important than earning bucks. This part became vital in my general view of the profession and my work ethics in the coming years.

At 20, I failed the board exam. End of the world? Not. But I have learned that no failure can ever define me for as long as I have my family and friends to back me up and they have been the best support group that one can ever have. They give me reasons to still believe in myself and believed in my capacities, I did.

Friends. Food. Fun. My month-long birthday celebration in pictures.

April x