Reverie.

It seems like every feeling is self-inflicted. Sometimes we feel like we are superior from others and we expect them to see and act based on how we view certain things.... and that's where our frustrations in life usually come from. 

Certain situations in the past few weeks reminded me of two parables from the Bible and the enlightenment is just what I needed.

And He also told this parable to some people who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and viewed others with contempt: "Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. "The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: 'God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.

'I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.' "But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, 'God, be merciful to me, the sinner!' "I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted."

- Luke 18:9-14

Another one is from Matthew 20:16. “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.” 

I felt guilty as charged. 

For weeks my mind is filled with  "I am better than you." and "I deserve to get more credits than you do." kind of thoughts and I realised how these kind of thinking has been eating me alive. I struggled and found it hard to focus because of a heavy heart and I felt like I am getting less when in reality and on a wiser perspective, I am more than blessed. I have a job that I like and I can now provide better than I would have had back in the days. I am trained to be a professional and a pro, I should always be and so I had to share the inputs and concepts to people who are in need.

I was reminded that every person has a different pace in learning. Some learns quickly while some takes ages. Some needs to be spoon-fed as some tries to find a solution before even complaining. Some has the drive to learn. Some exerts effort. Some needs to be pushed before they get their acts together. We'll never know up until when will these excuses be valid but we should stop comparing ourselves to people and just focus on the tasks at hand. Also, it takes all courage to admit that we are not as perfect and knowledgeable as we probably thought we are. It may be very difficult, I can attest to that. But even the best people has failed countless times and it took them a while to master their craft and we are not to judge.

On the parable, the Pharisee spoke highly of himself while the tax collector conceded. It pays to be humble and all. We needed to learn, sometimes in the hardest way, but we needed to learn our lessons.

I still get disappointed when things do not work out the way I wanted them to be. I still get frustrated. How people act as though the world revolved among only themselves is beyond me. But that is when I came up to a decision and freed myself from the darkest of thoughts and turned to pray to Him. I pray for guidance. I pray for patience and more patience. I pray to be more compassionate towards others. Most of all, I pray for understanding and wisdom.

I am working on it, Lord. Thank You for believing in me.

I pray the same for you.

x

Help me, Lord as I am constantly working on it.