Late Realizations From The Words of The Master Plumber
I've been thinking about it lately. What have I learned in college that can be useful in my random daily life, really? Does the first 2 lines really have to rhyme? Heh. Aside from Mathematics and the engineering concepts that has been and is being a pain in the arse for the past 4 months in preparation for the board... I think I know what it is. In fact from the time that the words came out of our professor's mouth, I knew I am gonna take it by the heart. Or maybe not. Because I still haven't frigging learned.
Loving and caring.. it is in human's nature. So I am no exception. Wow. So that makes me a human lol. Kidding aside, I tend to love, to care and give it my all. No, I haven't fallen in love (so cut that thought out). It's about people around me, in general. I care even with the smallest of things, to the most random stuff. I care a lot and it's not just being nice and pretentious, for it is really in my nature and a few close friends can attest to that. I could care to a point of exhaustion. A friend once told me, "So you really care like that? Like a... mother?" Woah. I cringe at the thought. A mother, eh. But perhaps, yes. Sometimes I get too motherly. I used to say that maybe it is meant to be like that... We people tend to give away things that we long sought. How ironic is it that I unconsciously (this was before. Knew it now) tend to care like a mother even though I've been seeking for a care from a mother since I was like 10. Oh well. Story of my life.
Having said that, I don't believe that we can't give what we don't have nor we can't really relate to someone those feelings that we haven't really felt before (love, heartbreaks, etc), songs which we can relate but not really, if you get what I mean. It all depends. It varies. It's always a matter of choice.
Emo much for the morning? lol. I think everyone has their emo side. For me, their emotions are too raw that most people judge them as cheapshits who don't know nothing but to wear black and rant about the imperfections of the world. To cry, bleed and hurt themselves. To scream, music-wise. Most people are so whatever to even admit that they are. lol so I am being random again. Going back.
Appreciation. It's one of my best qualities, I have to say. I appreciate every single thing that's given to me even the not so good ones. I always try to find the goodness in people, in situations, in stuff. If being positive is hypocrisy then call me a hypocrite. But that is me.
I love to care. But people get tired too. A battery gets low. But it never ceases to give power, it just needs to rest, to recharge... and BOOM! Good as new. That's how I can describe my feelings at the moment.
I am scared. Worried. Couple of things. I am afraid of failing. I had so much shall we call it success in the past (a very remarkable high school life, and a life well-spent in college) that failing is just so... I can't even. The future scares me. I dread of never being good enough. And in this emotional journey that I am going through, I can never be thankful enough to the Lord for giving me my friends who'd stay, who understands.. Who would never leave. Who's keeping me sane. Who loves me. Who believes in me no matter what. How blessed am I really to have them all in my life that not even blood-relations, distance can stop us from appreciating each other? I am lucky. No. Blessed. I just am.
So what is it that our prof has said then that hit me? It's that people, friends will come and go but it'll never, it should never be our loss. It's theirs. Because in the span of their lives they can never and will never ever get to find someone remotely close to the attention, love and care that we can give. So life has to move on. Treasure those who love you and don't be afraid to give and give and not ask for anything back. In the end, it it just Him and only Him that I am longing to please, anyway. And that will be my goal for as long as I live.
"If being positive is hypocrisy then call me a hypocrite. But that is me." - love this line.. :) that's why we are mare! we have the same principles in life.. :D
ReplyDeleteyou can do it mare! :) you'll pass the board (and even be on TOP!) My prayers are with you! :D
God Bless!
Loving and Caring it is in human's nature..agreee!!! Moja its normal to be scared and worried especially now ," afraid of failing" I felt that too before....,basta Moja fighting!!! Im sure you'll pass the board exam.... be positive always Engineer April Ann DeGuzman.....
ReplyDeleteStory of my life. Pag down talaga ko papel at lapis una kong nahahawakan. In this case, cp. Salamat sa inyo, dahil di nyo ko iniwan ;( salamat talaga.
ReplyDeletePS I love you!
ReplyDelete