Four Years

Whenever I can, I try to stay away from my phones, Kellan the Blackberry and the Elder phone (good ol Nokia, Harry Potter-inspired name), so I can focus on the book that I am reading, especially if it is a physical book. (because I usually read the e-ones on Kell, which is also one of the reasons why I have acquired this smartphone when the old one is still functional - for reading purposes.) Which is exactly the case earlier today when I left the phones on our bedroom as I dealt with my books addiction on the other room. I'm not the ones for alarm because most of the times I even wake up earlier than the alarm so I think it's pretty pointless, and that there's Facebook to remind us of birthdays, anyway so I'm pretty much surprised when my cousin told me that my Elder phone is on alarm. What's so special with this day that I want to be reminded of that I actually set something that I don't usually do?

Heart almost jumped when I saw what's written:

"Best friend."

Then I knew it.

Four years.

It's been four years when I bugged someone almost accidentally on Myspace because of some American Idol finalist that we are both supporting at that moment.

Four years when I met someone online that I didn't knew back then why, but I'm just glad to have made a new friend. And that I know, even ironically from the web, she was real.

Four years when I met a very stubborn, mean, cold-hearted woman and yet has so much love to give kind of friend, who has taught me, inspired me, who has, in a way, changed my life.

Four years when I first get to know my sister from another mother, confidant, human journal --- my best friend.

And I could only sigh on how things have changed since then.

Things gets more bearable/easier to deal with in time. And so, I'm actually a very sentimental on things/person... especially my first times (ironically, I can't remember the exact date of first time that we saw each other in person lol, but that's April the following year).

We don't get to talk as much as we do before but I believe so that we all still care on certain levels. We cared. We hurt. We disappoint. And we still care and love like sisters. People change. Certain circumstances forces us to. But that love will never fail. We (try to) understand. We let go. In the end, we learn to accept. Glad that we still get to see each other on few occasions, too.

From observation/reading I have learned that labeling people is like giving them the license to hurt you. This is probably the reason why I don't rush into being in a romantic relationship... because I'm afraid to get hurt. (lols) I don't want to open my heart to someone and get it to be torn to pieces. Trust issues. And it doesn't only apply on the romantic side but to the whole idea of a relationship, I guess. Admit it or not, only the closest to you can get you to the extremes, from the delusional happiness to the mind-shattering hurt and feeling of brokenness. And we all wanted to guard our hearts.

So I guess she... has opened and found her way inside and get me to care, and it's the one that I will never ever regret even though it has seared me deeply.

Because for once, I was brave. I was happy to have found a best friend that I have always prayed to have; there are times when I was hurt, but I lived. I felt like finally living my life. It's that risk of trusting, opening yourself to that someone (a loved one, a friend, or whoever) somehow completely... and still manage to accept you for who you truly are. What's life without risks, anyway? It makes you stronger in the end so I guess all is still well.

I'm not the one to talk about relationships other than friendship but guess I am now prepared for the one? Or "more open" when it comes to the matters of the heart probably is more fitting. Hey now, I'm not seeing anyone at the moment, okay? But the idea of finding that person is just... :) and God-given, if I must add.

Here's to good friendship and for more years ahead! :)