Fiction

You are the perfect definition of that line from a The Ready Set song
because you like bringing people in and kick them out again for
reasons you do not even care to elaborate.

You can be too self-centered but I kept up with you for so long. But
maybe because you are loving as well that crosses out all the bad
sides of having you and now I may have had enough.

Am I too unworthy? Or maybe I am constant reminder of a life, a
genuinely happy life that you can never get to have that is why you
are purposely avoiding me? And you choose to live in the past you can
never get back? That you don't want to let people in because you're
too afraid to get hurt again?

I was doing okay and then I dreamt of you the other night. And that
was so unexpected I am glad I did. People say that dreams are
extention of our conscious state, and others say that people appear on
dreams because they were thinking of you at that moment. You were not
even on my mind the days before so I made myself believe that you are
actually thinking of me.

The dream? It was good. We were on the same restaurant but on a
different table and different companion. You saw me and looked and
smiled at me. You seemed genuinely happy with the person you are with.
And I was happy for you, I really am, because all I ever wanted was
for you to find that happiness in the first place.

And when I woke up, I really woke up. I thought it maybe the sign that
I needed to be able to let go. To close this chapter of my life that
seemed to haunt me every single time. I get rid myself of the guilt of
choosing to be happy not knowing whether you are or you are not.

I let go. And it is the best decision and I am glad.