The Thing With Goodbyes

I admire those who could change their contact numbers so often without worrying about not being able to communicate with their friends from the previous one; Delete their Twitter/Facebook accounts with a certain ease. Much more to those who can resign from their jobs easily to pursue another one like it is as easy as just changing clothes.

Because I can't.

I'm never really good at goodbyes. I find it hard to stay away for long even when asked to. I live and enjoy the present, but "People are in love with the past", or so Pete Wentz has said, and I guess I am one of those people.

I have a so-called attachment problem, which may not be romantically, but nonetheless, a relationship problem. And no one is to blame but myself, because even in a short span of time, I let them get in; I let them "scar" me, be it in a good or a bad way.

That is why there's the last song syndrome, because we can't get enough of the beauty of one song our mind keeps on repeating it. That is why after reading a great book, we rant about it (blog about it), force/encourage our friends to read it for weeks. On worse cases, years (why, hello Harry Potter).

Sometimes we can't help but say to ourselves, I wish I was selfish enough to leave the past behind and think of a better future if I'd just have courage to move on with my life. I wish I was brave enough to say goodbye. To let go of the things, of people. But the past reminds us of the times when we're happy, things we wish we still have now... if only we aren't stupid enough to not to hold on and fight for it before. Moments we wished to be in for long.. because we think it is the best that we had. It also reminds us of the bad times, which also happen to be our very motivation to move forward.

So, some of my colleagues are resigning from the job for reasons I think I won't be elaborating in here, and that's how it should be. I am going to miss them terribly but that's also how it should be.

I will miss getting interrupted while singing in bed, them singing along to Ida Maria's Quite Nice People with me.

I'll miss our late night fun hangs, the heart-to-heart talks before going to bed.

The food stalls at the MRT stations will never be the same, for it will forever remind me of the times when we woke up late missing the staff service vehicle we had to commute... ending up two hours late for work because we'd go trying out every food that we see.

I will miss bullying Ivy Gene. Well, I still can but it wouldn't be the same without Kezia backing me up and vice versa.

But hey, it's not like we will not be able to talk and see each other again, yes? And we have shared some bonding moments that will be a part of that treasured past now. It won't affect/hurt us if we won't let it. So let's not let it, right? (Right, Kellan Kyle, thank you for reminding me, babe. Chos.)

I guess there really will come a point in our lives when we'll realise... It's time. And there's good in goodbyes.

Better days ahead.