2018

May you have auspiciousness and causes of success

May you have the confidence to always do your best

May you take no effort in your being generous

Sharing what you can, nothing more nothing less

May you know the meaning of the word happiness

May you always lead from the beating in your chest

May you be treated like an esteemed guest

May you get to rest, may you catch your breath

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙤𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙤𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙨

And may the road less paved be the road that you follow

Here’s to the hearts that you're gonna break

Here's to the lives that you're gonna change

Here's to the infinite possible ways to love you

I want you to have it.

Here's to the good times we're gonna have

You don’t need money, you got a free pass

Here's to the fact that I'll be sad without you

I want you to have it all.

***

Borrowing words from a Jason Mraz’ song (he sang it best!).... There are moments this year that I felt like giving up but there are times, too in which I wonder why I even doubted when I should have just put my trust in His plans for my life. 

I'll never get tired of proclaiming how grateful I am for everything that has happened this year. Mind you, it has not been always good. There are days when it is so bad that I would just cry it out at church or cry myself to sleep. I even had to delete my social media apps on my phone at some point, I am so tired -- seeing your life not working out the way you initially plan it to be. I focused on the things that I lack instead of the things that I have. I drown myself in worries. When you thought it could not get any worse, it can and it feels like you cannot do something about it. But you can do something about it. I... prayed. Harder than I have ever had.  And then gradually I realised that He's been sending me hugs in many forms, I am just blinded by my worries to see it, but it's definitely there. It could be in the form of company, of my family, my cat and friends. It could be through the comfort of my favourite food or through listening to my favourite songs. It could be the joy of getting to try and explore things for the very first time. Maybe things are not working out because you deserve something better (You definitely do.) Maybe He is preparing you for something bigger. We've all been down there. And we can get better.

See, it won’t always feel like it’s the best life, but life indeed gets better. Plot twists are everywhere. It’ll make you cry, make you doubt. But there will be blessings and they are everywhere, too. 

Thank you, 2018! I’m forever grateful for your lessons.

Cheers, 2019. Let’s have it all, April x

***

It's the new year's eve later and it'll get so busy at home so I posted this early. I still have a few things to blog but I thought, there is no deadline as this is my own virtual journal and I could do it some other time. I have not been writing a lot or reading and a lot of things have changed all year long, I have figured. We're getting older..? haha. But I still find this cathartic so I'll try to write and share more. Til then! x